Revealing Your Heart

Today's message deals with revealing your heart. There are a ton of good thoughts in this chapter, and I will share some personal examples. The author tells us that we have to move from "communication breakdown to communication breakthrough." It amazes me how "connected" people are and yet the disconnectedness. People simply do not know how to relate to one another. I asked a 22 year old in my office if she texts her sister when they are in the bedroom (they share the same room). The answer didn't surprise me, rather it confirmed my fears: "yes." We have become accustomed to living behind our phones and computers and don't know how to live face to face. That is tragic. We use other means because it is efficient. But, "whenever we skimp on communication in a relationship in order to be efficient, all effectiveness is lost." Real communication costs.

We have all heard the statement: "they don't care what you know until they know that you care." And, that may seem simplistic but most of the most profound statements are simple. The challenge is that simple doesn't mean easy. I once had a friend (who could eat all he wanted like 5 bowls of ice cream a day an NEVER gain weight) yell at another friend trying to loose weight: "just don't eat!" Yea right. Very simple and EASY to say. Hard to do. And, that's communication, a simple concept that's hard to do and yet we must.

The author encourages us to: admit mistakes, tell your needs, share what you're thinking. Most of us as leaders think this is dangerous. And, it is. It will unleash a unifying power like we have never seen before when we connect with others at the deepest level. I want to follow real people. None of us knows it al,l and none of us has it all together.

That all being said, we have to be truth tellers. And, that is just not easy. There is no "easy button" like Office Depot. But, we are told to speak the truth and love, seasoned with grace. We are called to be peace makers not peace keepers. And, we all know that a peace keeper does so through appeasement but there is never a real connection. A peace maker will speak the truth and strive towards peace through the truth. And, a peace maker is open to being wrong on a subject -- open to correction and admonition (more on this later). But, the bottom line is that "great relationships as well as great organizations are built on trust, and you build trust by telling the truth."

I want truth tellers in my life. In fact, yesterday, I asked a close friend to be a truth teller -- I gave him permission. I said, "I want you to tell me what I do well and what I do poorly. And, I want the truth." And now a personal example, I called a friend and told him a fear of mine a month or so ago. I thought he could probably relate. And, when I opened up -- was vulnerable (took off the mask), he ministered to me. It was refreshing. And, I don't think he thinks less of me.

If you are going to be a truth teller, always: (1) make sure that you have invested in the relationship, (2) pray and ask God if he would have you say it -- some times he just wants you to pray, (3) some times I ask a close confidant (not gossiping) the best manner to share my thought, and (4) be open to being wrong -- obviously you are a TRUTH teller and seeker. Now, about being open to correction (and that's hard!!!), I recently was speaking with a confidant about an issue that I thought maybe I should speak about. He told me, "no." And, that was it. I accepted his wisdom on that subject. I was wrong. But, I was thankful for his truth telling.

We all need truth tellers that are committed to our success -- our transformation into Christlikeness.