Frankness

Prov 28:23 says, "In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery." I've been thinking about that and what that means. How does one be "frank" or honest? When does one do that? And, how does one accept it?

The "how" and the "when" are intertwined. My thoughts are that, generally, being frank is done best in the context of a relationship with another person. We've all seen that guy who is "frank" and yet no one listens wearing the billboard "repent!" You know, I have never seen one person walk up to a guy like that and say, "finally, now I get it." So, I think the "when" part is, normally, in the context of relationship and also when emotions are less likely to cloud the message. What I mean by this is that when Stephanie and I have a discussion (argument :)), we try to employ the 24 hour rule. If there is something that we need to be frank with one another about, we normally wait 24 hours to make sure the emotions have subsided and don't cloud the message.

And, when we do speak about it, the context ("how") must always be love. Love must motivate me to speak to someone with "frankness." It in fact should compel me. And, when done in love there is always encouragement and grace sprinkled in. The reality is that God's desire is for all of us to grow in spite of setbacks and this is done by grace.

Lastly, when you are on the receiving end, be thankful. Whether the "when" or the "how" is correct, see it as an opportunity to grow. Don't be defensive. Ask God to reveal to you whether the principle in the message is true. And, if the when and the how are true, thank God for a friend that truly loves you.

New Life

I sat in the bed with my son. He turned 4 and was going down for a nap. He said he was going to get big. Then, he asked me the hardest question, after I am big will I get small again or will I die? Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. I told him he would be in heaven doing what he loves the most. Man, death. That's what we give our children from our natural nature. 1 Pet. 1:23 says, "For you have been born again. Your new life did not come from your earthly parents [ME] because the life they gave you will end in death. But this new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God." Wow!

Paul uses the new life as motivation to "see to it that you really do love each other intensely with all your hearts." So, that's it. We are to love. That's what it is all about. A few questions:

1. What does love motivate you to do?

2. How does your love show to those in your life -- relationships?

3. How does love show itself to those that you casually now?

Customs

How many of you have gone to a different country than the one you are from and thought "man, that's a strange custom." For example, Bulgarians nod when disagreeing with you, and shake their head when agreeing. And, using the American gesture for "OK" (the thumb and forefinger making a circle with the other fingers pointing up) can be embarrassing. In Brazil that gesture means "screw you": in Japan it means "money": in Southern France it means "zero" or "worthless".

The point is that many countries have different customs -- not right or wrong, just different. Some, in fact, mean exactly the opposite of what we would be communicating in the U.S., which brings me to the point of this message.

We are told that, "our citizenship is in heaven" (Phil 3:20) and that, "we are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us" (2 Cor. 5:20). And, Peter says, "dear friends, I urge you, live as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us" (1 Pet. 2:20).

You see, God wants us to remember whose customs we are to follow. He wants us to remember what country we are from. We are told that we are aliens here. Now, most of the time when a foreign national comes to the U.S. he retains his customs from his home country and the language of the home country. The same applies to us.

For those of us that are from the country called "Heaven," God tells us that we should have "such good lives [customs]" that others will actually glorify God when He comes. Even those they accused us of wrong doing. Let me ask you this, in your business deals and your workplace, are you so far from reproach that others make fun of you because you won't just turn a blind eye? Do they accuse you of being a "company man" in representing the interests of your employer? What customs -- principles -- did Jesus tell us to live by that would be "radical" from this country's customs?

Regarding the language of Heaven, does your speech give life? Is it peppered with Grace? Do you honor God when you have the opportunity?

We are aliens. We are ambassadors and wherever we set foot, we can claim that land as Heaven's soil. But, in doing so the customs and the language come too.