Frankness

Prov 28:23 says, "In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery." I've been thinking about that and what that means. How does one be "frank" or honest? When does one do that? And, how does one accept it?

The "how" and the "when" are intertwined. My thoughts are that, generally, being frank is done best in the context of a relationship with another person. We've all seen that guy who is "frank" and yet no one listens wearing the billboard "repent!" You know, I have never seen one person walk up to a guy like that and say, "finally, now I get it." So, I think the "when" part is, normally, in the context of relationship and also when emotions are less likely to cloud the message. What I mean by this is that when Stephanie and I have a discussion (argument :)), we try to employ the 24 hour rule. If there is something that we need to be frank with one another about, we normally wait 24 hours to make sure the emotions have subsided and don't cloud the message.

And, when we do speak about it, the context ("how") must always be love. Love must motivate me to speak to someone with "frankness." It in fact should compel me. And, when done in love there is always encouragement and grace sprinkled in. The reality is that God's desire is for all of us to grow in spite of setbacks and this is done by grace.

Lastly, when you are on the receiving end, be thankful. Whether the "when" or the "how" is correct, see it as an opportunity to grow. Don't be defensive. Ask God to reveal to you whether the principle in the message is true. And, if the when and the how are true, thank God for a friend that truly loves you.